The Night Before (praying for poop)

Was supposed to check into the hospital at noon today to start her bowel clean out.  They called and had no beds till 4:30.  So we had a really late start on everything.  They had to do some not fun stuff in the first hour of admitting.  First - an NG tube.  Those whose know, know its bad.  We had to hold her down.  It seriously sucked.  Then just 20 minutes later came the IV, which they had to try twice.  I was a nervous wreck, but kept strong for her. After everything was in, they started her on the GoLytely - a solution that helps her poop and clean her out.  They want it to get to water/broth.  I know, it's gross, but there's nothing glamorous about any of this.  They are also giving her all kinds of other things through her NG tube, like antibiotics.  She's thrown up twice now, so we are going slow.  A little while later Dr G's resident came in and talked to us about how the surgery schedule will be tomorrow.  He was really nice, but straight to the point.  He also went over all the risks and things that can go wrong.  Although he legally has to do this, I kind of wish he didn't.  After he left, I had the biggest cry I've had in years (I'm not a big crier).  The nurse then also gave us a run-down of what to expect over the next few days after surgery.  I'm really scared.  It's going to be even harder that I imagined.  I'm feeling very overwhelmed with all this information thrown at me in one night.  The thought even crossed my mind "Why are we here? Why are we doing this? Is this the right thing" But Benny helped calm me down and realize that this was not rushed into.  And that this is the world's expert we are dealing with here.  He wrote the textbooks on this.  He has done surgery on kids of Kings.  We are in good hands.  But they never said it would be easy.  I feel like I got punched in the gut tonight.  And I look like I got punched in the face with how puffy and red my eyes are.  

So it's now midnight and she's pooped only once.  We are sitting here waiting and waiting and waiting for more poop.  And we will probably be up all night with this.  Which means tomorrow I will be a wreck, when I really should be alert and well rested while she is in surgery.  Oh well, I'll sleep sometime.

Ok, she just pooped and it was clear, this is a good sign for the night.  

Good night.