Morning of Surgery

They woke us up at 7am, it was still completely dark outside. Which is weird, usually it's light at that time at home. I thought they were playing a mean joke on me.  As suspected, I slept maybe 3 hours last night.  Poor Lily had to be woken up at 2am for an enema.  She had not gotten enough poop out, and so we needed to get a final flush.  It was BEYOND heartbreaking to wake her up and do this.  Last time I gave her an enema, I promised I would never do that again.  :-(  After the first try, we had to do 2 more.  So 3 enemas in a row till she was cleaned out.  We were both shaking.  I felt like the worst mom in the entire world to make her do that.  I will probably never forget last night, it goes down as one of the worst.

She was in better spirits though this morning on the way to surgery.  I was a wreck, and looked it too. Maybe more like a zombie really.  I was walking through the halls and was barely functioning.  But by the time we reached the pre-op waiting room, I saw all our docs and nurses and knew I needed to be on my game.  There are always a lot of questions they ask, and papers that need to be signed.  I got to take Lily back to the OR.  I kept saying in my mind, be strong, be strong.  I've taken her back many times to the OR before, but this time was extremely difficult.  Knowing that this surgery was major.  (I'll be posting more later about the exact surgery she's getting and what the future will be for her.  It's complicated, and a lot is being determined while in surgery).  But ultimately this surgery is to get her continent.  She will be different after this.  She will have a different life, but a better life hopefully.  So it's scary to enter the unknown.

Last night with all her Beany Boos 

On our way to surgery this morning

After getting her down, they walked me out and said to get some rest.  Yeah right.  Easier said than done. But I did walk back and take a loooong shower at the children's house.  Felt way better.  So now Benny and I are chilling in the waiting room, trying to distract ourselves with food, work, and movies.  One of the positive notes is that we are in the new Children's Hospital, that finished a couple years ago.  It's way nice and modern.  A nice change from the really old hospital we stayed in 5 years ago.  Better rooms, waiting rooms, food places, etc.

We just got another update that the surgery is still in process and that she is doing fine.  Looks like we have a couple more hours to go though.